It's appropriate that in literary lingo, an "apostrophe" is a poem dedicated to an inanimate object or one who is dead. Because of the punctuation mark of the same name, I may merit my own poetic version real soon, for death may be imminent. Marking apostrophe mistakes on eleventh grade essays during the first week of school I can handle. Marking the SAME mistake 3,456 times in one essay during the final week of school? Tantamount to Chinese water torture.
Here is what I want to tell them: Hello. You are seventeen. You hold a valid driver's license. You are less than one year away from voting. You are capable of reproducing at will. You even somewhat resemble a normal human being most of the time. What is it about showing possession that you find impossible to accomplish? Are you simply exceedingly generous? Do you have some kind of problem with allowing people to claim what is rightfully theirs? Is the idea of individual property anathema to you? The thing is, I would accept Communism as a legitimate excuse, but OH IF THEY ONLY HAD THIS TO BLAME. No, instead it is an inability to recognize that the little "s" they've tacked onto the end of the word does not represent plurality. "The characters motives?" Not plural. "The books theme?" Nope, not plural either. "A years time?" STILL NOT PLURAL!
Oh God. Someone please shoot me.
Posted by Rachel at May 14, 2004 07:18 PMRachel, I feel your pain intensely. We have a new sign at work, all OVER work, in big letters in a big promotion. 'Ask me about, "The Sutter Difference" ' Sigh. I have had to be the comma police, covering those commas with white tape.
Let's proofread BEFORE sending said objects to the printers, shall we?
Posted by: jenny at May 15, 2004 02:18 PM"You even somewhat resemble a normal human being most of the time."
Hehe. This is priceless!
Posted by: Becky at May 18, 2004 01:37 AMI got what was probably inordinately upset at some kid's t-shirt at Sonic last night because it said,"Buy me another beer because YOUR still ugly". Those damn disappearing apostrophes.
Posted by: Mercedes at June 1, 2004 05:27 PM